There are some things I refuse to be totally honest about. With that disclaimer, you can know that some of what you're about to read is complete rubbish. But I will start with a true premise and embellish it in whatever way seems appropriate.
The locking system on Honda cars is diabolical. In order to secure the premises, you must lift the handle to the diver's door as you are shutting it or it doesn't actually lock. This is a detail I knew and understood on Saturday morning when I drove myself to the airport in a friend's Honda. The plan? I drive myself. Put the car in long term parking. She'll pick it up when she gets back to town on Tuesday. It's a great plan because, although I was staying in
But, due to a series of star-crossed events, my wallet (with my photographic identification) was no where to be found on Saturday morning. My hope was to arrive to the airport with plenty of time to spare. My hopes, however, were fated to be dashed.
I unpacked and repacked my suitcase 3 times. Looked under couches, chairs, beds, tables, laundry baskets and even the fridge. Where is it?! No clue.
So, I got to the airport a little later than anticipated. As I’m driving up to the parking lot, the concern that’s rolling through my brain is what if I can’t get through the security gate with my Pacific Science Center ID? What will I do if the car is locked and I can’t get back in? So let me pause here and tell you the correct answer: take the car key with you. Obviously my friend has a spare key, because the plan was always that I should just leave the key under the mat, lock up the car (see directions above) and she’ll get it later. While I fully acknowledge the brilliance of that plan now, it did not cross my mind at the time. My plan was to leave one of the back doors unlocked. What’s the chance that anyone would notice and steal the car? In my defense it was early, no one I knew in any time zone was awake to tell me what a dumb plan I had conjured out of the depths of my brain. So I went with it.
I remembered to lift the handle as I shutting the driver’s door. I walked around to the back seat passenger side door I had planned to leave unlocked. Reached for the handle. Nothing. Here’s the theatrical rendition.
Car: I am locked.
Me: Locked?!
Car: Yes.
Me: No!!!!
One detail I didn’t know about the Honda car door locking system, is that lifting the handle locks all the doors. Even the one you just reached over and lifted the button to leave unlocked. Even the one specifically selected because that’s the side of the backseat where your suitcase is sitting. So there I was, standing in the parking lot of the
I realized that my only choice now was to walk away and hope the security guard thinks my smile is charming enough to let me through with my expired voter’s card (no picture) and my WWU student ID (fuzzy picture from 5 years ago).
Luckily charm is something I have in abundance, so a few agonizing minutes later I was seated in seat 16B on my way back to the Promised Land.
What’s the best part of the story—when I got to
I often nap on public transportation. On the way to work one morning I was horrified to wake up with my head resting on the shoulder on some stranger! Wait for it, it gets much worse...I was drooling on his suit! I got a shout out from the Bat Commander at the Aquabats concert I went to in 
blew me a kiss (to make up). I forgave him.
Status: True!
I was running late after school and didn’t have time to go home and change into a more appropriate for a rock concert outfit. So, I wore a fleece vest. Very tacky. I thought I might get cold later… No, I actually have no excuse. But he really did blow me a kiss. This story can be corroborated by my friend Jeremy.
On the 1st day of the sailing class I took at WWU, I had to capsize the boat out on the lake, so
the sail was all the way under (90 degrees to the surface) then try to get the boat back up and crawl back in! I got very wet and but had so much fun!
Status: False!
This story was almost true. I signed up for sailing lessons. Hard to do unless you have a copiousness number of credits so you are one of the first to register, as this class fills promptly. I got out to the lake and saw the class before me out on the lake doing the exercise described and fear flooded my heart. After confirming that that was not the advanced sailing class, as I first hoped, I decided not to proceed. Some scary things in life I’ve regretted not doing. I often wish I was braver. But crazy isn’t something I want to be. This was beyond scary and into the crazy category!
"That's not a dog, that's a horse!" ~Alexa
"We long for an affection altogether ignorant of our faults. Heaven has accorded this to us in the uncritical canine attachment."
was a fantastically full load. I even flirted with the idea of dropping Tetris but instead I worked hard and stuck it out. It was a huge time commitment, as I studied two or three hours a day for that class alone. At night I would close my eyes and see blocks falling in my brain. It’s possible I passed my other classes but one thing I know—
Of course waffles are also deliciously wonderful so I chuckled when my friend Aims sent me this picture:
Waffles. Yum. Calories aside, they are delicious with whipped cream and maple syrup and they taste best on the couch in front of the fire watching reruns of whatever show you never have time to watch because you are always trying to sharpen and hone your Tetris skills.
My roomie got me hooked on from-scratch buttermilk batter--no dry mixes here! I especially love to toss in mini choco chips and dried cherries, fresh blueberries or bacon. Maybe not all together, but maybe. If that's your thing. My thing is to enjoy separately. But hey it's your breakfast so go wild.
What's your waffle thing?
I love pie. And I know I’m not the only one. Jealousy is the most common response I get when I explain our family’s tradition of waking up to a pumpkin pie breakfast on Thanksgiving morning. Yum. Pumpkin Pie. Lemon Meringue Pie. Raspberry Pie. Apple Pie. Strawberry Rhubarb Pie. Chocolate Pie. I really love all pie…sans mince meat; sorry Dad. I just don’t understand what exactly it’s made of—it makes me nervous.
Fact: Every 5 minutes one in four people is currently eating, preparing to eat or thinking of eating pie.
Fact: 9 out of 10 people would rather eat pie than brush their teeth.
Fact: Astronauts and Cosmonauts won’t go to space without pie http://www.cnn.com/US/9511/atlantis/11-16/index.html
So you can imagine my joy today (3.14) when my love of pie intersects with my love of pi. The irrational, never repeating, wonder-number that represents the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter. My love of pi started in 10th grade Geometry when Mr. Crack offered me extra credit if I could memorize pi to its 25th decimal place. A few days later he gave me a chunk of chalk and stood back surprised as I quickly jotted down pi to the 49th decimal.
49?! you ask? Yep, 49. And it was easy, here’s how:
Fact: telephone numbers are in groups of 7 (except for in the
Fact: I had seven friends in high school. (Who knew I was so popular!)
Fact: I simply assigned a set of 7 numbers to each friend
3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375…
Lately there have been a lot of discipline issues at school. Marijuana on the bus. Language sailors would blush to hear. "STUDENTS!, talk like your grandma is sitting next to you.” I call it pre-WASL spring stress. The principal calls it lack of goals.
So on Friday she passed out goal setting surveys for each kid to fill out. Questions like “What college do you want to go to?”, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”, etc. One of the questions was “If you could have twenty things, what would they be?”
Understandably, some of my students had a hard time after about five things they wanted, most of us don’t have a running total we have easy access to that quickly. To be helpful, I wrote some incredibly random things on the board to inspire them to think beyond the obvious nano i pod, clothes from Hollister, a million dollars, yada, yada, yada.
My Suggestions:
But here’s my quandary; if you read the question carefully, is it saying you would get these additional twenty things along with all of the other things you currently have? Or do you only get twenty items to own? Are you getting sent off to the moon and may take only twenty items? Curious. I'm going to the moon and I'm taking my flannel pajama bottoms. What would you take?
