No Scientific Facts Were Harmed in the Making of this Film

**Warning, Spoilers Ahead** Don't you hate it when you go to a movie and you just can't enjoy the action because they have all their science facts wrong?! Me too. It's the worst. A couple of months ago Dave and I went to see Batman (I guess it was a while ago, when did that come out?) And I think he was annoyed with me because I kept whispering over to him "That would never happen!" Ok, so let's make sure that everyone understands me here. I'm not complaining about the Hollywood special effects, or the whole idea of a "Bat-Man", but rather, my beef is with the machine that vaporizes all liquid in the city causing the dissolved poisons in the water pipes to become a layer of poisonous gasses inhaled by the greater Gotham area. Also, I take exception with the total lack of respect for the laws of water pressure, so blatantly disregarded when the villains were dumping the poison into the pipes. Sigh.

Really, if all the water in Gotham is vaporized, what's the point of the poison? Every cell in your body would burst!

Maybe you feel sorry for me? Maybe you feel sorry for Dave? But here's who you should feel sorry for: America's youth. My students are confused about the Richter's Scale because of movies like 10.5. Folks, only a fault that reaches around the entire globe would generate that kind of earthquake. Maybe you missed this movie? (Luckily I can tell you the ending).

The good news is that the heroes of 10.5 were able to weld the Earth's crust back together with nuclear bombs...

The bad news is twofold: the science consultants on the script were probably paid for their contributions and the earth is now mostly radioactive.

Even after this tantrum I have to confess that I actually do enjoy science fiction movies. Most of the fun for me is groaning and complaining. Nothing quite fills that need like The Core. I get angry all over just thinking about that movie. URRGGH! We seem to have a fascination for fixing natural disasters with our nuclear arsenal. I'm seriously in doubt of their effectiveness. Thanks for listening. Thanks for caring. As a parting gift to you for reading this rant session, I leave you this list of movies to love and movies to avoid:

To love:

The Dish

Contact

2001: A Space Odyssey

Planet Earth

To avoid:

Any movie that leaves you with a sinking feeling in your gut as you suspect that living on Earth is not at all safe. And ends with a nuclear explosion to save the day.

Hey Kids! Thinking About Stocking Up On Your Space Exploration Supplies?

My college roomie Aims and I went on a Seattle adventure last week. Here's a slideshow of a quirky little place she's been wanting to take me for a while. Of course being a big nerd, I was predisposed to fall in love with it. Which I promptly did. I still chuckle and marvel at the cleverness. One sign on their door claims “We outfit the following: adventurers, commuters, rocket scientists (professional and freelance), tourists, theoretical mathematicians of immodest idiom, specialists of all stripes, small crews, large parties et cetera.” Aims isn't nerdy, well she isn't nerdy in the same way, but as you can see, we both had a good time. The proceeds all go to benefit a non-profit student writing center located in the back. The teleporter is a secret entrance. I walked (more like twirled) in on a bunch of students. I was surprised. I teleported right back.



Visit their website--it's a lot of fun. http://www.greenwoodspacetravelsupply.com/

Canis Major

Ok, Bella's "it". She got tagged. A couple of things about the dog:

1. Bella is a great Dane. Emphasis on great . . .

"That's not a dog, that's a horse!" ~Alexa

"Make that drooling stop!"~Callie

2. So, most creatures move away from the fire when they start to feel the affects of melting skin, dehydration, pain, and so forth. Not this girly. No, she lays there and moans. Moans and moans and moans. Until someone has pity on her and shoves her out of the way or turns the fire off or dumps water on her or something.

3. Bella erroneously believes herself to be a small dog. She gets nervous around the "big" dogs at the park. Never mind that they are smaller than her. She wants nothing more than to be able to sit in your lap. She dearly loves to cuddle. Which, given her size, feels more like she's squishing the living daylights out of you. But if you're strong enough to take it, it's very sweet.

4. Ok, this next one is gross so skip it if you are weak-stomached. Bella loves to eat kitty litter---I hang my head in shame for her as she has no proper shame for herself. I do not know why she does this. I cannot understand it. The cats are equally puzzled. And let me tell you, a lot of time and resources have been devoted to try to nip this taste for "alternative protein" in the bud.

5. Bella is smart. But as smart as she is (and folks, she has a big vocab and she really is a smartie-pants, sans the pants) but the finer points of "playing catch" totally elude her. And really, that's not even fair because she understands the catching part but not the part where the human safely retrieves the thrown object and resends it into the atmosphere for continued fun. Bella's idea of fun can be summed up in this conversation I believe is going on in her head . . .
"Bet you can't get this out of my mouth. Look how big my teeth are. And my jaw is too strong for your puny muscles. HA! this toy is mine forever! Wait! where are you going--you're supposed to pry this out of my teeth. Come on! Try it. I dare you weakling. . ."
On closer investigation, maybe I'm the one who doesn't understand the finer points of the game "Toy war".

"We long for an affection altogether ignorant of our faults. Heaven has accorded this to us in the uncritical canine attachment."
~George Eliot

My Angel Mother

Happy Birthday Mom!

I love my Mom because . . . (Reasons 51-60)

51. My mom’s a woman of action! If you have a problem she helps you solve it. She supports you through the worst of it and loves you through the best of it.

52. I love my mom for her sense of humor. We always have the best time sitting together laughing about our lives.

53. I was just the snottiest kid sometimes. Thanks Mom. I love you for loving me.

54. Apple cake. I love my mom because she always made this huge pan of apple cake with a multitude of chocolate chips. Delicious. When we were teenagers our friends were always thrilled about this too. The family rule clearly states that whoever eats the last piece has to clean the pan. So we would always leave a one inch by one inch piece for our mom. What a nice gift from her darlings.

55. In my 8th grade year, the teachers went on strike for a week or something. My mom and dad packed up the car and we went on a 4 day fieldtrip. We went to the Maryhill Art Museum, a planetarium, we climbed all over the rocks and cliffs of Horse Thief Lake looking for ancient American Indian artwork. The reason I love my mom for this is because she stopped at all the historical markers along the way to read the roadside signs to us. It’s quirky. It’s fun. It’s because of her that I went to college and once I finally got there, I opened the course catalog for the first time, flipped to Geology and never strayed far. Rocks, stars, good literature, poetry and dark chocolate. All things I love because she loves them.

56. I love my mom because she’s honest.

57. I love my mom because she’s fair.

58. I love my mom for her testimony. Her testimony is the rock that my own grew on until it was truly my own.

59. I love my mom because of her charity and Christ like service to others. One very cold fall evening on the Seattle waterfront we were headed to steamers for dinner. As we walked past a homeless man, she stopped, spoke to him and then just invited him along with us. He seemed surprised and then gratefully accepted. She bought dinner for the three of us and gave him the change. I'm sure he was thankful for the food and cash but more important was the gift she gave of her time as she visited with him and spoke to him with respect. I doubt it is very often that he was treated kindly by strangers. But I am more grateful. Because of my mom, I have learned this important lesson, one that King Benjamin taught: "Behold, I say unto you that because I said unto you that I had spent my days in your service, I do not desire to boast, for I have only been in the service of God. And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God." Were I to read this passage 1000 times I don't think it could penetrate my soul the way this one event (of so many) has.

60. “All that I am, or can be, I owe to my angel mother.” Abe Lincoln paid this tribute to his own kind step-mother. I can’t think of a better, more fitting tribute than to say this of mine, so I echo it here. I love you so much. Happy Birthday Mom!

To read all 61 reasons why my Mom is the greatest see my siblings' blogs.

For reasons #1-10 see Honor's blog; #11-20 see Cori's blog; #21-30 see Siri's blog; #31-40 see Veronique's blog; #41-50 see Emily's blog and #61 see David's blog! :)