Often in this life we get something different than what we thought. No one mislead us. Things are just different. I sat in all the same Mia Maid lessons and Laurel classes as everyone else. I went to all the same early morning seminaries and firesides. I believed at 15, and still at 25, that 35 year old Karen would be the proud (and tired) mother of a little family of babies. Not so.
Little Karen was equally shocked when her world crashed into a mess of confusion at her mother's death.
Some might say I got the short end of the stick. Maybe a stick with two short ends.
I can't help but disagree.
We'll call it the bran muffin/cupcake analogy.
Before each of us the Lord holds an amazing cupcake (mine is chocolate, yours is whatever) and do we walk away from it? Do we say no thanks, I'll have that bran muffin instead? This analogy might not work for you, you might be crazy and like bran muffins more than cupcakes. So come up with your own analogy.
My point is this---in MiaMaids when they taught us to prepare to be mothers, no one ever talked about being an Aunt. No one ever explained that the relationship with my siblings children would be the joy of my life. No one ever told you you would weep like your heart had broken in half at the death of Sweet Monique or the surge of pride you'd feel when Brielle won the Science Fair. I don't think anyone anticipated the pure joy that comes from Callie singing along to the Black Keys or holding Will for a couple of hours in the middle of the night so his mom can sleep for 1 solid hour. Was Harry Potter ever as much fun as when Tyler called me after reading the 6th book so we could discuss it and try to figure out where those missing horcruxes were? Does anything warm your heart as much as wandering into Megan's room and seeing a framed picture of yourself on her dresser? I could relate countless stories of love, joy and pride; all involving my favorite little people on this planet.
How is it that I'm surprised by this? Didn't I know at an early age that love between a parent and child can exist where no such biological bond does? My own Aunt loved me like a daughter (maybe a sister?) either way, I have a huge pile of letters that sustained me through the hardest times in adolescence. My step-mom has always been my fiercest and most loyal supporter. Her love, compassion and wisdom knows no bounds and has no end. I cannot even begin to explain how her example has blessed my life and created in me the woman I have become.
Sherri L. Dew, a leader of the Relief Society shared these thoughts at a General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in October 2001:
"Have you ever wondered why prophets have taught the doctrine of motherhood—and it is doctrine—again and again? I have. I have thought long and hard about the work of women of God. And I have wrestled with what the doctrine of motherhood means for all of us. This issue has driven me to my knees, to the scriptures, and to the temple—all of which teach an ennobling doctrine regarding our most crucial role as women. It is a doctrine about which we must be clear if we hope to stand “steadfast and immovable” regarding the issues that swirl around our gender. For Satan has declared war on motherhood. He knows that those who rock the cradle can rock his earthly empire. And he knows that without righteous mothers loving and leading the next generation, the kingdom of God will fail.
When we understand the magnitude of motherhood, it becomes clear why prophets have been so protective of woman’s most sacred role. While we tend to equate motherhood solely with maternity, in the Lord’s language, the word mother has layers of meaning. Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve “the mother of all living” —and they did sobefore she ever bore a child. Like Eve, our motherhood began before we were born. Just as worthy men were foreordained to hold the priesthood in mortality, righteous women were endowed premortally with the privilege of motherhood. Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us.
President Gordon B. Hinckley stated that “God planted within women something divine.” That something is the gift and the gifts of motherhood. Elder Matthew Cowley taught that “men have to have something given to them [in mortality] to make them saviors of men, but not mothers, not women. [They] are born with an inherent right, an inherent authority, to be the saviors of human souls … and the regenerating force in the lives of God’s children.”
Motherhood is not what was left over after our Father blessed His sons with priesthood ordination. It was the most ennobling endowment He could give His daughters, a sacred trust that gave women an unparalleled role in helping His children keep their second estate. As President J. Reuben Clark Jr. declared, motherhood is “as divinely called, as eternally important in its place as the Priesthood itself.”
Nevertheless, the subject of motherhood is a very tender one, for it evokes some of our greatest joys and heartaches. This has been so from the beginning. Eve was “glad” after the Fall, realizing she otherwise “never should have had seed.” And yet, imagine her anguish over Cain and Abel. Some mothers experience pain because of the children they have borne; others feel pain because they do not bear children here. About this Elder John A. Widtsoe was explicit: “Women who through no fault of their own cannot exercise the gift of motherhood directly, may do so vicariously.” Click here to read the whole article.
Mother's Day is the day we celebrate the women who have nurtured us. It is the day we rejoice that we have a loving Father in Heaven who sent us these angels. It is the day we give thanks for the love that sustains us in this life when we are parted from Him. I raise my voice in praise to His infinite benevolence and say a grateful prayer for the cupcake I never even knew was an option. It is delicious.
Mother's Day Cacure studio from Paparalla on Vimeo.
