Freaks of Nature

I got attacked by a swarm of Aphids as I ran into a branch on the way to my car this morning. Attacked might be a bit of hyperbole, but whatever. I've always been fond of these bright green little bugs. I had to brush myself off before getting into my car though, because my affection does not nullify my repulsion at having 25 or so bugs riding with me to work.

I used to call them Algebra bugs because they always seemed attracted to the bright white paper of my Algebra text book as I did my homework on the lawn of my high school. I guess since I was fond of Algebra, I became fond of them.

But let me reassure you, they are truly strange little weirdoes. I don’t know what, if anything, you know about Aphid reproduction cycles, so welcome to science class.

Sometimes during the seasonal life cycle of Aphids they reproduce parthenogenetically; instead of laying eggs they give birth to a tiny little clone of themselves. This means that most of the time the population is entirely female.

Weird?! I know, right?

It totally gets better. Sometimes a little baby aphid clone will already be growing its own little aphid clone BEFORE IT’S BORN! Thus, the mother could be giving birth to both its daughter and granddaughter at the same time!

Hope you can keep your breakfast down while reading this.

You’re welcome.

If you, like me, have an opposite reaction to all this fascinating science you might consider reading the following:

Herding Aphids: How 'Farmer' Ants Keep Control Of Their Food
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/10/071009212548.htm

The Aphid Life Cycle
http://www.backyardnature.net/aphid_lc.htm

Wikipedia article on Aphids
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aphid

HOMEWORK: Write a 5 sentence paragraph describing why you love summer vacation and what you are planning to do. Extra credit if you include learning something cool about your favorite freaky animal.

Last day of school countdown: 9 school days!!

I heart Summer

Summer!!! It's almost here. After this weekend I'm ready to gather it in with open arms.

Additional news: I have eaten three pieces of cake so far today and feel a little sick and chubby. Ugh. The first slice I ate for breakfast. I made a cake last night; funfetti with buttercream frosting---the frosting was sensational. Butter, sugar, lemon curd and love. With sprinkles on top.

Then at work today we were somehow celebrating National Bosses Week (I guess that's a thing?) so I had a slice because I had already eaten the piece I brought from home for breakfast so I was out of cake. The frosting on this cake was not as nice. It has that weird bitter aftertaste of overly processed food. I guess everyone else has a better sense of self preservation because most of it is still sitting uneaten in the staff lounge where I just was, slicing off another little chunk . . .

So that brings the total to 3!

P.S. I may or may not have eaten a brownie before I left my house . . .

Baked goods are my nemesis.

Boyfriend Rumors

One of my students was humming Eye of the Tiger. I told this kid that that same song had been stuck in my head since Saturday when some friends of mine had been playing it on Rock Band. Of course this put the whole class into an excited state. You could almost see their electrons jumping into higher energy bands. "You play VIDEO GAMES?!" "Who were you playing with?" "Do you have a cat?"
Not sure where that last question came from...

Earlier in the class period one of the kids showed me how someone defaced the Algebra Book and had drawn a goatee on one of the authors. This particular author, Dr. Burger, has recorded several short videos for each section of the book which we sometimes refer to when I want to walk around helping kids but want everyone to keep learning. Because learning is awesome!
In response to the goatee I said, "Oh no, not our beloved Dr. Burger"!

So . . .

Here's the latest rumor: Dr. Burger, who is my boyfriend, and I play rock band on the weekends when we aren't doing math.

. . .

Seriously, I can't think of a better way to spend the weekend.

Happy Mother's Day

Often in this life we get something different than what we thought. No one mislead us. Things are just different. I sat in all the same Mia Maid lessons and Laurel classes as everyone else. I went to all the same early morning seminaries and firesides. I believed at 15, and still at 25, that 35 year old Karen would be the proud (and tired) mother of a little family of babies. Not so.

Little Karen was equally shocked when her world crashed into a mess of confusion at her mother's death.

Some might say I got the short end of the stick. Maybe a stick with two short ends.

I can't help but disagree.

We'll call it the bran muffin/cupcake analogy.

Before each of us the Lord holds an amazing cupcake (mine is chocolate, yours is whatever) and do we walk away from it? Do we say no thanks, I'll have that bran muffin instead? This analogy might not work for you, you might be crazy and like bran muffins more than cupcakes. So come up with your own analogy.

My point is this---in MiaMaids when they taught us to prepare to be mothers, no one ever talked about being an Aunt. No one ever explained that the relationship with my siblings children would be the joy of my life. No one ever told you you would weep like your heart had broken in half at the death of Sweet Monique or the surge of pride you'd feel when Brielle won the Science Fair. I don't think anyone anticipated the pure joy that comes from Callie singing along to the Black Keys or holding Will for a couple of hours in the middle of the night so his mom can sleep for 1 solid hour. Was Harry Potter ever as much fun as when Tyler called me after reading the 6th book so we could discuss it and try to figure out where those missing horcruxes were? Does anything warm your heart as much as wandering into Megan's room and seeing a framed picture of yourself on her dresser? I could relate countless stories of love, joy and pride; all involving my favorite little people on this planet.

How is it that I'm surprised by this? Didn't I know at an early age that love between a parent and child can exist where no such biological bond does? My own Aunt loved me like a daughter (maybe a sister?) either way, I have a huge pile of letters that sustained me through the hardest times in adolescence. My step-mom has always been my fiercest and most loyal supporter. Her love, compassion and wisdom knows no bounds and has no end. I cannot even begin to explain how her example has blessed my life and created in me the woman I have become.

Sherri L. Dew, a leader of the Relief Society shared these thoughts at a General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in October 2001:

"Have you ever wondered why prophets have taught the doctrine of motherhood—and it is doctrine—again and again? I have. I have thought long and hard about the work of women of God. And I have wrestled with what the doctrine of motherhood means for all of us. This issue has driven me to my knees, to the scriptures, and to the temple—all of which teach an ennobling doctrine regarding our most crucial role as women. It is a doctrine about which we must be clear if we hope to stand “steadfast and immovable” regarding the issues that swirl around our gender. For Satan has declared war on motherhood. He knows that those who rock the cradle can rock his earthly empire. And he knows that without righteous mothers loving and leading the next generation, the kingdom of God will fail.

When we understand the magnitude of motherhood, it becomes clear why prophets have been so protective of woman’s most sacred role. While we tend to equate motherhood solely with maternity, in the Lord’s language, the word mother has layers of meaning. Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve “the mother of all living” —and they did sobefore she ever bore a child. Like Eve, our motherhood began before we were born. Just as worthy men were foreordained to hold the priesthood in mortality, righteous women were endowed premortally with the privilege of motherhood. Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us.

President Gordon B. Hinckley stated that “God planted within women something divine.” That something is the gift and the gifts of motherhood. Elder Matthew Cowley taught that “men have to have something given to them [in mortality] to make them saviors of men, but not mothers, not women. [They] are born with an inherent right, an inherent authority, to be the saviors of human souls … and the regenerating force in the lives of God’s children.”

Motherhood is not what was left over after our Father blessed His sons with priesthood ordination. It was the most ennobling endowment He could give His daughters, a sacred trust that gave women an unparalleled role in helping His children keep their second estate. As President J. Reuben Clark Jr. declared, motherhood is “as divinely called, as eternally important in its place as the Priesthood itself.”

Nevertheless, the subject of motherhood is a very tender one, for it evokes some of our greatest joys and heartaches. This has been so from the beginning. Eve was “glad” after the Fall, realizing she otherwise “never should have had seed.” And yet, imagine her anguish over Cain and Abel. Some mothers experience pain because of the children they have borne; others feel pain because they do not bear children here. About this Elder John A. Widtsoe was explicit: “Women who through no fault of their own cannot exercise the gift of motherhood directly, may do so vicariously.” Click here to read the whole article.

Mother's Day is the day we celebrate the women who have nurtured us. It is the day we rejoice that we have a loving Father in Heaven who sent us these angels. It is the day we give thanks for the love that sustains us in this life when we are parted from Him. I raise my voice in praise to His infinite benevolence and say a grateful prayer for the cupcake I never even knew was an option. It is delicious.

Mother's Day Cacure studio from Paparalla on Vimeo.

Escalator Escapade

I went to Target last night to get some pens so I could grade Algebra tests. Which are, by the way, sitting here next to me still not graded. First I checked out the chocolate and cold cereal isles. And let me assure you that if health and good nutrition could be maintained consisting on a diet solely of these two favorite food groups I would never eat another piece of lettuce in my life.

Eventually I realized that I needed to get down to business and find some pens so I hopped on the escalator heading downstairs. As I'm riding it down I see the pen isle above me on the floor I was just on so I turn around and try to run back up the escalator. And, wow, that was hard. This escalator was moving like it meant business and I was sprinting in place. At some point it occurred to me that if I didn't make it to the top I was going to look foolish (more than I already did) so I gave it everything I had and overcame that speedy staircase of DOOM.

There's this weird sensation that happens to your legs when you're running backwards up an escalator and you finally get to the top that manifests itself as a very pronounced stumble.

I caught myself, balanced my traitorous legs, turned to the watching couple and declared victory. They politely acknowledged the crazy person that was clogging the escalator and I bought some pens.