1.26.2011

Escalator Escapade

I went to Target last night to get some pens so I could grade Algebra tests. Which are, by the way, sitting here next to me still not graded. First I checked out the chocolate and cold cereal isles. And let me assure you that if health and good nutrition could be maintained consisting on a diet solely of these two favorite food groups I would never eat another piece of lettuce in my life.

Eventually I realized that I needed to get down to business and find some pens so I hopped on the escalator heading downstairs. As I'm riding it down I see the pen isle above me on the floor I was just on so I turn around and try to run back up the escalator. And, wow, that was hard. This escalator was moving like it meant business and I was sprinting in place. At some point it occurred to me that if I didn't make it to the top I was going to look foolish (more than I already did) so I gave it everything I had and overcame that speedy staircase of DOOM.

There's this weird sensation that happens to your legs when you're running backwards up an escalator and you finally get to the top that manifests itself as a very pronounced stumble.

I caught myself, balanced my traitorous legs, turned to the watching couple and declared victory. They politely acknowledged the crazy person that was clogging the escalator and I bought some pens.

1.05.2011

Happy New Year

It's interesting that at this time of year many of us are thoughtful about who we are and what our goals are for the next year.
2010 is over, 2011 is here.
And to celebrate we greet eachother with a blessing. I kind of love that.

May 2011 be truly happy.

12.21.2010

Lunar Eclipse


I watched the eclipse tonight with some friends. We laid a tarp down and piled blankets on top of us. It was beautiful to watch the moon get darker and more red until just a bright silvery sliver remained. We endured the thickening clouds that obscured the view and braved the cold December night but I wimped out when the rained started falling. We didn't see the end of the eclipse. Nevertheless, the conversation was lively and the company was lovely. P.S. I heart Winter Break.

11.21.2010

Frosted Mini Wheats

When I lived in the Cook Islands as a missionary I acquired a love for a weird food called Banana Poke (2 syllables, rhymes with okay). It's this opaque gelatinous mound that looks almost identical to that raisin desert blob in Better Off Dead: "It has raisins in it . . . you like raisins".

Unfortunately for the missionaries who served after me, the Cook Islanders continued to frequently serve this slightly unnerving delicacy after I left because I had raved about it so much and requested it at potlucks and parties.

There was an American family living on the island however, who showered us with dinner invitations as well. All of which were gratefully accepted because they served amazing things like lasagna, tacos, and spaghetti. I was always so excited and thankful for their generosity. For my birthday they put together a box of classic american favorites as a gift for me: pop tarts, kraft mac & cheese, toothpaste, root beer, and the most glorious thing of all: frosted mini wheats.

My companion, a Kiwi, liked the pop tarts but wouldn't try the moldy looking cereal to save her life. I tried to convince her that it was just frosting, but she remained dubious and I had the whole box to myself. What could be healthier than shredded wheat? What could be more delicious than frosting? What could be more clever than combining these two delicious things together to make the superfood we know and love as frosted mini wheats? And this is my thank you note to the universe for letting it happen.


The kid in me loves the frosting. She really does. Also little kid Karen wonders what ever happened to her star wars figurine collection?

I eat mini wheats for breakfast almost every day and I'm not gonna lie to you: I really only like the Malt-O-Meal version. The Kellogg's version isn't toasted enough. Unless you buy them in Canada because the Canadians toast theirs longer. Why? Because Canadians are cool like that.

I prefer toasted over non toasted. It's a subtle difference but it is significant.

My love of toast expands into other categories as well: bread, english muffins and marshmallows. All better toasted. At Subway, I always request a toasted sandwich. Obviously.

On the road trip I took this summer we bought a toaster thinking we could plug it into the dashboard with our car adapter. Wouldn't that have been the coolest story, "Yeah, as we drove around America we were crunching on toast we made IN THE CAR!" But alas, no dice. Apparently charging a laptop uses less watts that toasting a slice of bread. We shamefully took back the toaster we had excitedly bought from the Fred Meyer in Bend, Oregon where the inspiration hit us. And the only crunching that was happening inside our car was on the peanut butter and raisin covered celery sticks we ate almost continuously. ". . . you like raisins". It's true I do like raisins---I just like toast better.

Also, I have a pretty big crush on the band OK Go. So it is with delight that I introduce this next video that features a combination more delicious than shredded wheat and frosting: OK Go and toast.

11.02.2010

2 Things

Thing 1: Today I bought lunch from the cafateria. That's enough to just stop there, but it gets better. Today's menu? Sloppy joes. I am not even kidding. I almost couldn't buy it with a straight face. I think the cafeteria staff thought I was just in a really happy mood. But I kept thinking, how can you be an actual lunch lady and take yourself seriously when you're making sloppy joes? I could not. And if I was humming Lunch Lady Land as I walked away, no one can blame me. It's only the 2nd time I've bought lunch this year so I don't know how common it is as a menu item but it tasted suspicously like yesterday's meatloaf . . .

Thing 2: Some "party supplies" a.k.a a panty liner was found stuck to the bottom of a desk by 2 seventh grade boys in science today. They were, needless to say, horrified. One boy was groaning, "It's one of those things. Those tampon things."
The entire class was sidetracked for a few long minutes as I removed it and explained that today's learning objective was learning about light energy and not sex ed. But there would be time for that later in the year and we needed to get back on task. Well this new information was all anyone could talk about. Exactly when would we be learning about sex?
Not today kids, not today.