What's in a Name?

10 letters. That's it.
Ever since I started filling out forms and realized that there was a superfluous line intended to further identify me from all the other Karens in the universe, my middle name deficit has been a sore spot. But what could I do about it? Complaints filed to my parents fell on deaf ears and only produced blank stares.

What's the big deal, my mom didn't have a middle name either. Emily? Nope. Well...kinda nope. Let me explain. You might remember that Clifford the Big Red Dog has a devoted and loyal companion named Emily Elizabeth. My mom often said that if she had given Emily a middle name it would have been Elizabeth in honor of her mother. I even recall her calling Emily that when we were little. Then Em grew up and had babies, all of which have middles (way to go Em), and along come Anna Elizabeth, whom I have always suspected Emily named after herself.
But even though Emily, Mom and I were born binomials, I alone still pine for trinomial status. Marriage. Yep. That, my friends, is the way to get a middle name. Alas, the elusive hunt continues.

Imagine my shock to learn that some lucky girls get middle names before they are married! My other four sisters have beautiful middles: Jayne, Mariana, Rose and Irene. What is it about a middle name that makes me want to whisper it like a sacred wish...

You might believe you are the first person I have whined to about this sad, sad state of affairs. You are incorrect. Many dear and loving people have listened and consoled me through this trial. Some have even gone so far as to offer advice. Here is the most common: "Ummm...why don't you just give yourself a middle name?"

Ok. No.

It doesn't work. Because it's not permanent, it's not a part of who you are. No one ever yelled it at you when you were in trouble. And it's not like I haven't tried.

In 8th grade: Flower

In 10th grade: respelled first name Keiranne (more letters doesn't fill the void)

Alternate attempts: Bailey, Beatrice, Georgia, Sunshine (during my hippiest hippy stage), Danger, Egg, Hortense, Eunice...
Ok, maybe I'm just making those last few up. But I think I've illustrated my point. I stink at picking out names. If I had ever marched down to city hall (or where ever you go to change your name) and saddled one of these to myself for life, I'm sure I would have lived to regret it. Perhaps "Danger" would be the exception.

The thing about names is you can't really give them to yourself. Even nicknames can't really be self imposed. When my college roommates started calling me Ren, about all I could do is decide that it should be spelled with a "w" so as not to confuse it with Stimpy's sidekick. Or is Stimpy the sidekick?


So two questions:
1. What is your middle name and what's the story?
2. Since I can't dub myself, what middle name would you give me?